20

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE JANUARY 24, 1997

ANNOUNCING OUR 2ND LOCATION

VIDEO

ENTRAL

Still the largest Laserdisc selection in Central Ohio

OPEN 24 HOURS

Large selection of Videos --all ratings, Super Nintendo, Sega

German Village 231 E. Livingston 221-6848

Finding

romance

doesn't have

to be a

full-time job.

North

1299 Bethel Rd. 442-TAPE

My free time is precious. I don't have time to do the bar thing anymore. So I answered an ad in the Gay People's Chronicle personals. It was so simple. All I did was make one call and their new features did all the work. Now that's how busy people should be finding romance.

To respond to your favorite personal ad, call

1-900-370-7566

$2.25/min. Must be 18 or Older. GPC Cleveland, OH

GANBOOFLES CHRONICLE

BIG TIPS

She can have my heart, but not my house keys

by M.T. "the Big Tipper" Martone

I like to think of myself as relatively trainable. This illusion is being challenged lately, as a result of my late-in-the-game leap into the 20th century. (Granted, we do have a year longer to enjoy the 20th century than most people think, since the new millennium doesn't actually begin until January 2001, but that's another story.)

I'm finally on-line. No, I don't have a web site, but I'm happily transmitting documents and fond sentiments to friends and employers in a steady stream of zeros and ones. So why, I ask you, am I compelled, as soon as I get on line, to try to pick up my phone and call someone? Is this like having to pee whenever I'm in the freezer aisle of the grocery store? (Sometimes I fear there's a scientist somewhere ringing a bell just to see me salivate on cue; once again, however, that's another story.)

I'm not even that much of a multi-tasker, so my attempts at the presently impossible simultaneous communication are out of character, but e-mail whets my appetite for immediate contact. Hey... I think there's money to be made in this whole telecommunications thing! Welcome, Ms. Martone, to the 20th century.

Dear Big Tipper,

I have a big problem and I hope you hold the "key. "My lover and I have been together for a little over ten months. We both live in town, but in separate places. I don't see that changing soon, since she bought a house a few years ago with an ex of hers (of course), and I love my apartment. Even if we weren't both happy with our separate places, I would still be hesitant to move in with someone so quickly.

Here's the rub. "Rebecca" gave me the keys to her house a few months ago when she was sick, and I was running errands of mercy for her. When she felt well, I gave them back, but she told me to keep them, so I clipped them onto my key chain, and haven't used them since.

A few times recently, when we would be meeting later at my place, she has suggested borrowing my spare keys so she could just let herself in and start dinner for us, or start a fire, or turn down the sheets, or...

I just don't want to give her my keys. I have no reason to believe she'd abuse the privilege, but my home is my sanctuary, and I need to know that I'm the one who chooses who can come and go there. Sometimes I need to be alone, and I don't want to be “surprised” with dinner, an experience I think I might be setting myself up for with a key exchange.

I'd give her key back to be fair, but I do love her and don't want to send that kind of message. This situation is going to start generating hurt feelings within the next month or so if I don't do something. What would you suggest?

Dear Lockety Split,

She Can Have My Heart, But Not the Keys

You have her keys. And there they hang, little anchors in the sea of commitment. What a bold woman you are, to buck the lesbian

"U-Haul myth" of simultaneous first date and move-in.

At this point, do whatever you need to do to not give her the key, because your discomfort is indicator enough that for now, you need to maintain the integrity of your space. Tell her your building doesn't issue copies. Tell her the truth. Whatever. Then tell your apartment manager her name so she can get in in case of an emergency, and let your sweetie know that she is very, very welcome in your life, the best way you know how.

Dear Big Tipper,

Hi. Hopefully you can help me. I recently started dating this guy, about two months ago. Everything has been going great, but I worry myself sick over him. I sit at home and wait for the phone to ring to see if he will call me, and I seem to stop my life for him. I'm afraid when we don't see each other that there is something wrong.

I am now losing weight because I have a hard time eating and sleeping, wondering if he feels the same way I do. I have even gone as far as driving by the bars when I haven't heard from him, then usually later in the evening he does call. How do I let go and just enjoy what I have? All my friends tell me what a great catch I am, so why do I keep worrying?

Worried Sick in Love

Dear Anxiety de l'Amore,

Honey, two months isn't too long to have fresh-love craziness, which should cover the weight loss and sleeplessness for now. The stress of being in a new relationship can be significant, too, on top of the tingly crush feelings: Your set of information about him and who you are in relation to him changes almost every day, and that can be scary and unnerving.

You're also adding someone new to your group of folks you care deeply about, and fear for his physical safety is completely reasonable. As we love people over time, though, we tend to integrate our dramatic concern for them into our pile of dormant worries, or else we'd be jangling with fear all the time. Just try to remember you should have butterflies in your stomach, not chefs from Beni Hana.

Since you're driving your car past bars at night, instead of calling police stations for reports of accidents, it seems that jealousy is another concern. Try nipping that in the bud with a little conversation. I don't know if your new guy is a talker, but go out for dinner (and eat, okay?), and tell him how you feel. Two months is long enough to wait to confess affection.

Ifhe's not forthcoming with gushing statements without prompting, ask if he's dating anyone else, or interested in dating other people. After dinner you may be the happiest boy in the world, or really disappointed, but he's the only one who can allay your fears. Good luck, sweetie. ♡

Send your questions on life and love to M.T. Martone, care of the Chronicle, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland 44101; or fax to 216631-1082; or e-mail to ChronOhio@aol.com.

A&A Master Jewelers

1764 Goodyear Blvd. • Akron, Ohio • 330/784-3587

•

.DIAMONDS JEWELRY GIFTS Top Cash Prices Paid

REPAIRS ON PREMISES. For Jewelry, Coins, Etc.

Graduate Gemologist on Premises

CUSTOM & SPECIAL ORDERS ON RAINBOW JEWELRY

Hours: Mon-Fri: 11am-7 p.m. Sat: 10 a.m.5 p.m.

The Attwoods-Robert Sheila, Robin & Tracy